Thinking
by sg-1fanintn
Summary: Jack O'Neill, alone and...thinking.


**Thinking**

_Jack...alone and thinking. Hmmm... This story was written for the Gateworld Sam/Jack Ship Appreciation Thread's ficathon in June, 2009. _

Jack O'Neill stood solemnly gazing out the window. It was a beautiful day—blue sky, sunshine and a nice breeze, judging from the gentle sway of the trees. And here he was, wearing the same blue uniform that had restrained him for so long. Even today, it was still making him feel stiff and uncomfortable.

He sighed. It wouldn't be long now, he supposed. But in the time he had left, he chose to think of her…Sam…the woman who consumed so many of his waking thoughts and all of his dreams. Just the thought of her made his emotions stir, and when he had to reach up to wipe a tear from his eye, he was glad to be alone. As his mind wandered through the events of the past few years, he shook his head at how much a part of him she had become. Yet, try as he might, he couldn't remember the moment that he fell in love with her.

Their first meeting was still crystal clear in his mind. He was irritated enough about getting a scientist on his team. But the tall, leggy blond who entered the conference room at the SGC was a far cry from the bland, geeky scientist he had been expecting. He had to admit—he was attracted to her the moment he saw her. But when she began to speak, he was even more impressed by the strength of her spirit. She held up well to Feretti's and Kawalsky's harassment, even though he had to restrain himself to keep from laughing when she made that comment about the location of her reproductive organs.

No, he didn't fall in love with her then…but he was certainly intrigued.

His respect and affection for her grew as they worked together, and he knew she had what it took to be a soldier after her hand-to-hand combat with that idiot warlord who had 'bought' her from a lovesick teenager. The teen had hoped to trade Jack's beautiful Captain for permission to marry the warlord's daughter. Jack chuckled as he remembered the powerful chieftain's embarrassment when he lay flat on his back with Carter's knife to his neck. Yep, that had been a sweet day indeed.

But that wasn't when he fell in love with her either. His mind kept searching for the moment as he continued to wait out the last few minutes.

He had been too sick and disoriented to remember much about their time stuck in Antarctica, but he had read Sam's recount of the events in her mission report, and he knew she had done everything she could to find a way out and tend to his injuries. It was a wonder they both didn't die there, he thought to himself. He had only vague memories of her warmth…and a soft, soothing voice as he lay on the sleeping bag, wounded and dying. But no…that wasn't when he fell in love with her either.

He remembered listening with rapt attention when Daniel came back from that alternate reality and told him about another Sam and Jack…a civilian scientist and a general who were engaged. It was then he knew the stirrings he was beginning to sense in his heart weren't just happenstance.

It happened again when they encountered another alternate reality a couple of years later, and a Dr. Samantha Carter came through that quantum mirror. But this one had actually been married to her Jack O'Neill! Jack had kissed the woman, helping fulfill her need to say good-bye to the husband who had died fighting for Earth in that other reality. That kiss had stirred something deep inside of him, and for some time after that, looking his Captain in the eye had been hard to do.

Had she felt it too? He didn't ask. Hell, at the time, he didn't want to know! He wasn't sure he could deal with the answer she might give him. So he kept quiet.

But by the time they stood on opposite sides of the force shield on Apophis' ship, he knew there was no denying it. Jack O'Neill was deeply, undeniably, unalterably in love with his second in command…and it was clear that she felt the same.

Anise's za'tarc machine forced them to admit their emotions. Uncharacteristically, he had been the one who wanted to discuss it, confront the problem head-on, see what they could do to "fix" it. But Sam asked him instead to "keep it in the room." She didn't want to pursue it, so he respected her wishes.

Maybe they could have been assigned to different teams, he thought. It might have given them a way to be together. But, if they had split up the team, would they have been able to save the world and defeat the Goa'uld? Would Replicators be overrunning the planet now? Would he still be standing here today if Carter hadn't saved his sorry ass again and again? He didn't even want to think about it, because it just made his head hurt.

But the next four years were a rollercoaster ride…not only because of their unresolved feelings, but also because of the challenges they faced at work. Those years had been a series of near disasters, close calls, hidden feelings, and finally, Pete and Kerry. By the time they reached the showdown with the Goa'uld and the Replicators, Jacob was dying, Daniel was missing and all Jack knew was that it had just become too much to bear.

That's why, sitting in the infirmary's observation booth, at what he knew was one of the worst moments he could have chosen, and despite the fact that she was about to marry someone else, he jumped off the proverbial cliff and made her a promise. By the look in her eyes, he knew she understood what his, "Always," meant.

And later, after Jacob passed, he walked down into that room, ushered the medical personnel out, went to her and held her tightly as she cried like a child. In the days that followed, he continued to be her rock…making arrangements, nagging her to eat, steering her away from people who asked too many questions…even sleeping on her couch in case she needed something in the night. By the time the battle was won, and Daniel was back, she was starting to heal…and things between them had changed.

Jack inhaled deeply, the emotion of what had happened next rushing back to him as if it had been yesterday. They had talked. They had decided that life was too short to keep putting their personal needs aside. And with Jack's new job, they realized there was an honorable way to ensure they could spend the rest of their lives together. And now…

Jack felt his eyes start to water again when he heard the door opening behind him. Turning toward the sound, he saw Daniel standing there. "It's time, Jack."

Jack nodded, biting back the emotions so Daniel would not see. "I'm almost ready, Daniel." He stepped back into the adjoining bathroom just long enough to make sure his eyes were dry, then came back out to face his friend. "Let's go."

Daniel nodded and held the door open for Jack. The two men walked down the hallway to where the others were waiting. As they stepped into the small chapel, Jack saw it was filled with flowers and people. The two friends made their way to the front of the church, the music already playing.

Jack's eyes swept the crowd before the music changed. Then, he was totally focused on the woman walking toward him. He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he saw Sam, dressed in white and carrying a bouquet of yellow roses, being escorted down the chapel's center aisle by General Hammond.

"You gonna be all right?" Daniel whispered. "You seemed a little quiet back there."

"Just thinking, Daniel. Just getting ready for the best day of my life."

_**The End**_

_The prompt for this story was "marriage," but I didn't want to reveal that at the start. I wanted to keep you guessing for awhile as to whether something good or bad was about to happen._

_Whatdaya think? Please review!_


End file.
